Missing Shay Torgerson Found Dead, It breaks Dawn and my heart to have to share Shay’s passing.

He committed suicide early on March 27, 2023, after a three-year struggle with the crippling mental disease schizoaffective disorder-bipolar 1.

Shay spent parts of his childhood living with his mother and me in Maple Grove and Saint Cloud, Minnesota. He was an honor roll student at Maple Grove High School and a proud member of the baseball squad for the Crimson varsity. He graduated from Saint Paul’s Hamline University with a degree in business and finance, and he was a proud player for the Pipers baseball team and the school’s track and field team during his final year. Shay pursued a job in finance after graduating from college.

Shay enjoyed sports, but his family and friends will remember him more for his smile and laughter, his humble intellect, his wit and sense of humor, his loyalty, kindness, and thoughtfulness, as well as his sensitivity to other people’s emotions. He will also be remembered for these qualities. Also, his cruel pitch

One of the countless tales I remember is of him, around the age of four or five, observing two older kids he had never encountered playing in the McDonald’s playground outside near the Saint August exit to I-94.

This is just one of many tales that capture who he was and would become as an adult. Perhaps seven and nine-year-old siblings made up the other two kids. The older sibling, who was completely blind, was lost throughout the house.

Shay got up from our picnic table without asking permission or saying what he was going to do; he hadn’t even finished his meal. He walked directly to the older brother, took his hand, and led him calmly to the various playground equipment, explaining what each one was. Following that, the blind boy had nothing to stop him from having a ball for the next 30 minutes of playtime for all three boys. I tell you that tale not as a singular incident, but as an illustration of how Shay would treat people and handle similar circumstances for the rest of his life.

Shay set himself up as a young adult for a future of limitless love, great happiness, purpose and meaning, and opportunities to make a difference in his community through hard work, responsible living, focus on and commitment to the people and things that matter – including his renewed commitment to his Christian faith. His destiny would be taken away.

Over the 2019 Thanksgiving holiday, Shay experienced his first psychotic episode at a moment when his future seemed so promising. He would experience a number of additional incidents over the ensuing three years, some of which resulted in 72-hour holds at nearby hospitals. One incident involved an unsuccessful effort to scale a highway overpass and jump from it.

In addition to saving his life, Fahim Mursal is credited with bringing Shay to Regions Hospital, where psychiatrists diagnosed him and gave him the medication that would enable him to live without episodes for a full year — up until this past weekend.

Shay informed us last Thursday morning that he was departing to spend a few days at his mother’s home to assist with the various duties related to his grandfather’s recent passing.

Unbeknownst to us, Shay left his medication at home. Shay was already in the middle of a psychotic episode when Dawn and I found his pill container in the cabinet three days later. Shay drove around while ignoring our calls and messages.

Words cannot express the depth of Dawn and my affection for Shay. We were and always will be incredibly proud of him. He was extremely important to us. Every minute of every day for the remainder of our lives, we will miss him.

We’re still processing this catastrophe, really. Although we value texts and other forms of communication, we would prefer if you avoided calling or coming to our house. We are attempting to maintain the phone lines open in case Ramsey County Water Patrol or Saint Paul Police call, but we are not prepared to discuss this. We appreciate as many kind words and prayers as you are able to offer.

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